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Sunday, October 9, 2011

What?!

Ok. You know when you are going along, minding your own business, knowing you have a few things to work on when BAM! Out of nowhere you see pictures of yourself and you go, "What?! I really look like that?!" That has happened to me twice this weekend. It has made me want to cry. (DISCLAIMER!!!! I am NOT trying to get sympathy, compliments, words of condolence or anything of that nature. I am venting here!)

No seriously, I thought I was starting to look pretty ok. And then I see those pictures. Seriously? How long as it been that way? I know that I am by no means super overweight. I just have some "Juicy bits". Juicy bits I DO NOT LIKE!!!

And, you'd think that I would get all motivated to work out more and eat healthy. Which I kind of do, but the reality of it is I get so freaking depressed that I either don't eat at all or I "depress eat".  And then I go around beating myself up about it. I know, I know. Slow and steady wins the race and all that crap. But guess what? I WANT RESULTS NOW!!!!



Stupid. I know.

I get it. I am beautiful. I am talented. My husband thinks I'm hott (and so do some disrespectful Hispanic kids at Wal-Mart). But guess what world, I am one frustrated woman. Did you hear me?!

F-R-U-S-T-R-A-T-E-D!

I have been trying to run consistently, but now I see that it is going to take more than that. I have P90X, but I know the resulting soreness that fallows and haven't wanted to push myself. Well, enough is enough. I am NEVER having another picture taken again where I look remotely like that. No joke people. I've had it!

So, to follow the rules, I know that I am a very talented, kind, mostly sweet person :) I know that I am beautiful and that I can do anything I put my mind too (RIGHT?!) I know that my sweet husband thinks I am the most beautiful woman in the world. And, I know that I am so lucky to have the many blessings that I do have.

Like My Dear Cat Lulu


Let's be honest here: My house is a mess. I have not studied for a big mid-term. I am uber depressed about my husband being gone. I feel kind of like a loser. And, to top it off, I am a little more "juicy" than I would like and it is frustrating the living daylights out of me.

But you know what? I am gloriously human. My house will be clean in 15 minutes or so. I am going to study up a storm and be ready to go bright and early tomorrow morning. I have the best husband in the whole wide world. I have amazing friends and family. I seriously have the best support team on the planet. I have all the tools to look and be exactly what I want to be. I've got this! I can do this! I rock at life! Go me!

Oh yeah.... and I kind of burnt my lunch to an unrecognizable crisp and my house smells all burnt-y. But, hey, that's nothing new.



Guess what folks: I am human. And so are you. Let's all be honest about it, m'kay?